Starting the Eulogy....

The siblings (4) have decided that we will share the Eulogy...I, as the youngest will start. I have written and re-written my part a million times. We decided that we would each speak for two minutes...well now that was a trick too...it is hard to say much in that amount of time. To speak about a life time. I decided that his greatest attribute was that he gave of himself to his family...all of himself. It actually is better spoken than read but I am posting it here to keep it safe and somehow ease the difficulty of speaking it tomorrow. I pray I do not crack...if I start it will not stop.

Dad...

Today we say goodbye to a man who gave his life, every bit of it, to his family.

It has been a very long farewell -- over the past years we have come to know a very different man from the one we will recall today: a man with no words, no ability to tell stories and in the end not even to raise his own glass.

Today we will remember a man with a huge capacity to love--who gave endlessly. Still it is has been hugely important to know you both. To look into those beautiful blue eyes these past few years and feel honored to give back some small measure of all you gave to me.

Just over ten years ago you were given last rites after a massive stroke.(Dad loved this story) But a miracle occurred and you came back. I am certain out of love. Love for a woman and your family. That night on the 3^rd floor in Portsmouth Hospital as you reached out from the depth of your comma to touch Mom’s face it was so clear.

There was nothing, nothing that you would not do for love.

Did you know what lay ahead? The hard work of recovering from a stroke and years of fighting the horrible affects of Alzheimer’s? Would you have come back? ------ Yes there is no doubt. I think you knew that we were not ready to say good bye.

And so as you had done your whole life, you set aside your needs and met ours.

Jackie reminded me the other day of the book “The Giving Tree”…that story is your story. For those of you who do not know this book…a tree loves a boy, gives all she has to the boy…her branches for climbing and fun, her apples for the boy to sell as a young man, the branches to build a home, the trunk for a boat in his mid life crisis and her stump for the boy to rest late in life.

You Dad were that tree…giving to each of us in countless ways over the whole of your 84 years. You provided roots; the dependable son, husband, father and grand-father…the man who would drive miles for a concert, a game, to an art showing or for an ice cream. You provided branches…a beautiful farm house filled with animals and adventure, ski retreats and a lakeside paradise.

You built your home within our hearts so that it was never far and in the end you gave us a room to come, to visit and rest beside you.

You lived your love. You loved your life. You loved us.

How great a gift we all received.

Your defeat of death that day some 11 years ago was not your final gift. It was your slow, quiet and prepared death that gave us time to be here today ready to say goodbye. Thank you! I Love you.