BobBob aka Grandpa! TOO FUNNY

What grandfathers do for the little ones Lexie and Skyler! My husband is so funny. For the past year while the children have lived on the west coast and he on he east they have shared hopes for a jet pack to visit. Bob created these videos for them.

They speak for themselves. I just loved it!

First attempt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bbdVdyjumM&feature=related

Second attempt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os1vLkgBG4g&feature=youtu.be

I love this guy.

Be Still

So here I am ...trying with all my heart to be still. When my heart is heavy and my anxiety high being still is the thing I find most difficult. I want to take action and fix my sorry state. I want to be actively engaged to be anywhere other than where I am so why must I be still?

I am reminded of "Be still and know that I am God", I am reminded of "Be still my Heart" and the Zen practice of stillness, allow the thoughts to move past and just rest quietly open and trusting. I am fully aware that only in the stillness will I be able to see clearly. Moving and action blurs my vision.

So I sit allowing myself to hear the world around me, taking note but letting it pass. It is so amazing how many sounds: people talking, the water bubbling in the fish tank, the dogs toe nails on the wood floor, the cars passing, a faint bird, a plane overhead....wow it is amazing that I ever hear any single thing above all this noise. Did I mention the noise in my own head...my words: how long has it been, why am I tuning to one person talking, let go, move on ....Being still is a trip! Worthwhile.

Another day.

Me and Bobby

A visit has ended and with the rising sun I feel dark. Living apart from my husband only makes sense on some days. I live here because of my grand babies, because we are supposed to be reunited within the year, because I am making a living here ....but in the end it still sucks.

I watch the clock ticking and think of the years that I have left-this started happening on my 50th birthday. I am aware, more than ever, that this is temporary. My family history of Alzheimer's disease taints my view of old age. It is almost certain that I carry the gene and will experience significant memory loss long before my body gives out. What do I do with the years I have left...twenty maybe a few more or less. As Bobby disappears into the security line and I pull away from the curb at LAX I am completely aware that this is not how I want to live. I miss our life, or silly simple life.

I miss the certainty of my youth when I knew that one more promotion would make me happy, owning my own home would create security and being pretty mattered. I look to my verse for the day pondering how the Lord will establish me and protect me from the evil one. I hang here on that word...evil. I am grateful to be loved and that is where I will rest today.