Monday--feeling like a BEAR!

So it is a Monday. I feel sad to be away from my family this Monday. It has been a wonderful weekend and I am not making the work a week adjustment. It will come, I know it will. I have felt restless lately. I had a friend who once told me that I am addicted to change...she was right I think. I am never fully satisfied and often want for more, even when I am not certain what more would look like. As my friend Nancy says: I will ponder this.

Today was a bad day for working out-tomorrow is to the gym at lunch time. Keep me honest and ask me! I am tired and miss my comfortable bed in Eliot...this one in South Paris sucks! Oh well at least I can kick off the covers as much as I want without anyone sighing. The hot flashes, while not so regular, still kind of creep me out. Here we go to Tuesday! Better days a coming.

Yesterday's list

Okay so I drove by the doggie walk and fundraiser. I looked for an island without success. I found a great deal on a new refrigerator since ours went on the fritz...and I cooked cabbage stew (yummy). I spent the day with my daughter and grand kids, the afternoon part with Bobby...and it was a pretty darn good day. Oh yes and I did NO work, work...well maybe one email. But really nothing. I did a very very short work out...but did walk.

Today I plan to do a fuller exercise, have a nice pork roast (saw on Martha) and watch the Patriots game. I am working hard to not have plans today...I will report what that feels like...oh my goodness I feel them creeping into my head as we speak but resisting. Wish me luck.

Feeling like I always carry a flock of stuff to do!!!

The alarm went off, I always forget to change it for the weekend (I suspect part of me enjoys hearing it, shutting it off and then saying "yeah I do not have to get up" smile and roll over). I must admit I often get up by 6:30 anyway...so this morning I hung out thinking, as I do most mornings about the day ahead.

Here was the chain of thoughts:

I need to sand and repaint my stairs

I want to attend the Cocheco Animal Rescue Dog Parade with girls and Hannah

I think I will make cabbage stew (got cabbage in my csa this week)

I really should start painting the kitchen cabinets

I want to find a functional island for my kitchen to improve my cooking space

I must work out, maybe I will join the gym on the route one by pass

I need to do some work-work

........ And so it goes, now I am sitting feeling that it is almost nice that I wrote it all down...does not look so bad. I also realize that much will get side tracked no matter how hard I try to organize it all and move forward. But what is amazing to me is that I cannot just enjoy the quiet day off...that I always have this need to do and accomplish. I am working on that. Really I am.

Okay working out no so good....

Yes that is me and hubby at Pine Island and he cannot keep his eyes open...haha. But I look kind of okay so.

One day at the gym...one...and well few meager attempts at exercise in the mornings. What is up with this? I am certain that I can do this and I am more certain that I need to. My main question is what is up with the attitude? Why am I still ignoring my body and my needs. I have a roll in my midsection...Good heavens what more do I need?????

I am sitting here on Friday morning and you know what? I am going to my last day of the leadership Institute for MANP and I have no, zero intent on exercising. Okay I will do my 15 minute warm up in the morning. Seriously as soon as I am done here that is what I will do. Really! BTW the training has been wonderful. I have got to get myself to some more of this stuff, it inspires me and gives me mental energy. There were some of the best trainings I have participated in, Bravo to MANP.

Okay so ladies here is to my last sip of coffee and a few minutes with one of the freebies on Exercise TV.com ...great place to get work out video that you can run on your computer. It is FRIDAY....yippee.

PS sending extra special good vibes to my friend Nancy!!!!!

We are not getting younger!

Darn it we just will never get younger. No amount of "cover up" will hide the circles that now have taken up residence below my eyes--they were my favorite part of my face...poor babies now often look worn out and framed by wrinkled skin. My muffin top...a phrase I only learned from Exercise TV is now seriously holding my bra far from my pant top...which could be better than the under wire for which I pay dearly in my bra! I am tired by 7pm and get up to go to the bathroom at least three times before I sleep and at a minimum twice during the night. Alright I confess the occasional night when I sleep at 10 and wake up at 5am with excitement beyond belief that I slept threw the night...simple things.

Ladies we certainly have gotten a tough deal...no doubt. But then there are moments when I love so deeply, as I look at my children or hear my grand babies say something so sweet and cute that I am lost to my pains. We are so fortunate to be the ones who bring life to the world and who get to cherish all its' special moments. No offense to the guys...it is just not the same. Helps me to get past the lines growing around my mouth.

Been Tired and well Not Sure

Okay so I have been out of sorts...the days fly by and the to do list never shortens...too many loose ends and too few hours. I feel I have no right to be a whiner but I cannot resist. I fully appreciate that I am feeling sorry for myself, yes indeed this is a pity party.

I am going to pick it up. Seriously I need to work out, get out and do somethings for myself. So I am trying to figure out what thing it will be this week. But for tonight I still have to find emails for my Rotary membership committee meeting. So while I ponder (love that word took it from Nancy B) what next to do that will make my life fuller and my mind at ease I will email a few Rotarians. Any thoughts ladies? I need a push...a BIG one to get out of my own way. Happy Football season. :)