My Father...Fly well

On Monday morning December 21 my father passed away. He was in a nursing home, had been for years due to his advanced Alzheimer's disease. We received the call at 8:45 that he was struggling to breath, we had asked that we be notified if his condition changed so that he would not die alone. Despite our efforts he died with a care giver from the nursing home as we drove down I-95.

After the call we continued to the nursing home. We sat--my mother, sister, brother in law, son in law and daughter with Dad. It seemed right to remain after his death. We waited until the funeral home came to take him away. It was the last time I would sit with him in that familiar room, look at his pictures of family on the wall and listen to the hum of his air mattress. My sister arrived a few minutes before me and being the nurse (the one who had spent many of her early evenings in the past few years feeding him) she dutifully and lovingly cleaned him up and cut his nose hairs. It made my mother pleased.

As we waited one by his head, one at his feet, others moving about he remained the center of our focus. His warmth began to leave, as too I am certain did his soul. But we waited in that room, we talked, we cried and laughed (a little). Visits with Dad over the past years had become a source of connection for us all. Over the past months the great grand children had visited. They are four and five. Dad would watch as they closed his curtains in his semi private room and built a "fort". Sometimes he smiled and it was nice to see how they became less and less uncomfortable with this old man. He was, to them, great grandpa who lived in the nursing home. I think those visits entertained him, they made me feel good.

Today I awake and wonder where is he now? I miss him, I will miss that our patriarch is gone. Life goes on. Dad was a pilot I am certain he is flying well.