I am not good at doing for me. I am not even sure what to do for me. When I do find time to take a little personal space the world is better. There was a period in my life when I ran everyday. I logged miles with a dedication previously unknown to me (this went on for over ten years). Then I stopped. I cannot recall the day or the hour, it was long after my leg had broken and healed. I have lots of possible reasons: my back hurts all the time, my hips are out of alignment or I am just not feeling well. But at the end of the day I cannot run as I used to and I miss it awful.
After the running there was a series of things; speed walking, biking (that lasted about a week uck) and endless starts and stops at the local gym. Nothing lasted or really stuck...I am always about the next workout idea but struggle with finding that place that mile 3 and 5 would give me.
Magically in my early 40's I found my faith, that certainly has changed my life. I believe it has saved my life. I am a better person for my relationship with God and live with a deep and steady gratefulness. I am blessed to be loved and to be aware of that love in all I do. I do not spend time, as I believe I should, with my faith. The good thing about it,for me, is that it is inside of me and no matter where or what I am doing it is only a prayer away. Still I work at finding time to dedicate to renewal and prayerful time.
Many days the end of the day arrives and all I have time or energy for is to read a book or watch some silly show. It is important to allow myself that. It is okay Deb, let it go, you can rest.
Lately I have taken up exercise routines. For the past month it has been a focus of my day to spare a mere 20 minutes for me. While I have had minimal results on the outside appearance, I suspect 20 minutes might not be quite enough, I feel better inside. It is strange but I feel better, in part, because I give Deb her time, even just a little. Now how to keep it up?
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Ahh, “me” time. Always thought so hard to fit it in. Beginning to realize that my obsession with cleaning house is "me" time - love a clean house; working my gardens is "me" time - this is a given because I love my gardens. Love to work... kinda "me" time. Reading, cooking, socializing pretty much the same unless in a crunch and HAVE to do it. Lots of other things at this level.
ReplyDeleteThen we get to the more difficult. - I dislike formal exercise REALLY dislike it. Know I need to do it. Have been good for periods but lax most of the time. So, how to motivate myself to having this time to truly have “me” time to improve my overall being is the question. And… not to use the excuse I have not time – so easy to do so.
I find cleaning very rewarding...it has an immediate pleasing outcome. Often when I work at home I have to make sure the house in order before I can relax. So now I am getting my sneakers on to do this morning to do my exercise tv download workout. Crazy huh?
ReplyDeleteI, too used run every day and I was a weight lifting fool back in the day. I loved it! Now I can barely lift myself out of bed. I weigh more now then I ever thought I would, and I like to fool myself into thinking that doing housework, shoveling snow, and trying to keep up with my day is a great exercise plan. It seems, to me at least, that the older I get, the more I work. And I like a tidy house too. I never go to bed if there are dishes in the sink.I have housekeeping things I HAVE to do every day, because what if someone stopped in, and this or that wasn't done and people think my house ALWAYS looks like that.(although it's not often that anyone wants to drive 2 miles in on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere to just "drop in".)Anyways, I need to work on doing for myself also. Maybe we should make plans to get together and exercise, walk, be ourselves, whatever, someday.........
ReplyDeleteI think that would be a great idea. I know isn't it weird. No one, really not one person drops by my house but, I am the same way. I need order in my home, no dishes in the sink, no clutter to feel peace in my home. I really liked taking care of myself and it seems more important than ever these days. How can we encourage each other to find the time to do this important work of self care?
ReplyDeleteI like a tidy house and every once in awhile I actually manage to have one(when kids are gone long enough not to mess it right back up). I find that I can fool myself for a fraction of an instant if my house is orderly, to believe that my life also is orderly. The joke is on me.... As for "me time" I hardly know what that is anymore. I am the mom and dad, the bread winner, the nurturer, the cook, the maid, the chauffer, and the list goes on... When I do manage to get some me time I have to work to enjoy it and not think about all the work I have left unfinished, the groceries I need to buy, the unhealthy supper I fed the kids so I could have some "me time"... Oh the things in life I need to work on!
ReplyDeletere: "How can we encourage each other to find the time to do this important work of self care?"
ReplyDeleteIMO establishing accountability would help – I have no accountability and would welcome it :) Brainstorming session welcome.
My thought for the day... Highlights, lowlights (whatever they are), hair cut, waxing the brows... $100.
Spending 2 hours with my friend who tortures me through this.... priceless...
My friend finding a bald spot on the part in my hair (small but there)… extremely depressing.
Time to do a comb over? Picture myself looking like bozo with longer, straighter, browner hair.
Stacy - not in your stage of life with the young kids but, being from a large family, am pretty good at cooking, shopping, organizing and overall cost savings.
ReplyDeleteKnow what you're saying about getting dinner on the table for the kids.
Could be another area where we can of help to each other?
You are so right Nancy...maybe there is someway to help each other. I love to cook but not in a rush at 5:30 on a work night. So much easier to put on the tater tots (some how tater tots have always represented the start of a pretty bad meal)
ReplyDeleteI often cook on the weekends for the rest of the week. I leave my guys here while I come north so it is good to leave them with meals (or the old pizza house starts to take away from my retirement which is already into my 70s).
How could we help each other? How could we cook for one another or together and make it more fun. We have this great big center that sits empty weeknights after 4 and all weekend...what about cooking on Monday nights for the week? Make it social and good for you.
Or sharing ways we all cut corners. I am a crock pot queen b/c it is so easy...There is nothing that cannot go in one and taste pretty good at the end of the day.
I am also pretty handy with the quick and easy casserole dishes. I used to do lots of things like layered cooking dishes so that I could do it the night before and throw it in the oven at 4...cheap and easy too. With a new kitchen being built maybe Liz could start a "take a meal home program" that would be cost effective and yummie.
It is so hard out there, I have done the single parent thing...I often tell Bob ...he arrived when Matt was 13 (which probably saved both Matt and me) but he was a few years late.
I am basically self sufficient and private, but I know that none of us can do this alone and it is harder and more complicated than it has ever been.
Ladies how do we help make life better, find time for ourselves and figure out how to deal with the bald spot, the brown spots (got them all over my arms...lovely) the larger spots-my thighs ugh and the lonely spots (we all know we got them)?
I love the idea of getting together to cook and share and be ourselves. Take off our "work masks" and relax and have fun. And I have all those "spots" and I am in great need of filling in those lonely spots with friends. Let's find a way. I think that would be AMAZING!!!!
ReplyDeleteHere, here Kathy...let us figure out how.
ReplyDeleteI also love the idea of a group cooking time. Please not Monday nights, though (I have music lessons. Tuesdays -- maybe just try it once and see what we think. I have found, seriously, that drinking a glass of wine while I cook when i get home from work slows me down, makes it fun and I usually produce something fairly healthy and economical (though we do have our pizza nights and "what the hell, let's go to Michael's" -- isn't that pathetic!?). I read somewhere that enlightenment is awakening to the fact that we are already enlightened. I believe we are all doing what we need to do right now. We are learning what we need to learn and eventually we learn it enough so that we implement what we have learned. Maybe we are all one entity somehow anyway and so what I do for you I am really doing for me. And vice versa, of course! So, really, I would like you all to cook for me. I'll drink the wine and entertain you with my deep and entirely subjective thoughts. Thanks, you guys are great!
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should all drink wine and let you entertain us Laurie, enough of that and eating won't be such a worry....
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of cooking night. That would be wonderful...I also think the wine is necessary..good thing we have cots and sleeping bags should we be unable to drive...
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy my Sunday afternoons cooking for the week...lots of variety and purpose...lets do it!
Just found this wonderful quote on this topic:
ReplyDeleteBeware the barrenness of a busy life.
-Socrates
someone pick a date.....PLEASE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLaurie said that people wanted to cook at homes rather than the center...she said we could cook on her wood stove. I am open to any day Mon-Thur...if it were going to be Sunday I would need good notice...Laurie?
ReplyDeleteJust a note we are clearly all people who need to do...interesting huh?
ReplyDeleteThe barrenness of our busy lives dictates that we MUST drink wine and cook on Laurie's woodstove!
ReplyDeletewhat a great line!
ReplyDeleteDepending on where Laurie lives (since I live in Turner) I want in - even though I only know a couple of you! Trying to come out of my winter cocoon:)
ReplyDeleteThe best dates right now to cook at my house would be 2/3 or 2/10. John and Ailie will be at the Golden Gloves in Lowell, MA and so out of our hair (Ailie would either go upstairs or smooze with Deb, but John would show boxing matches every five minutes). I live in Otisfield right on 121 -- about 20 minutes from the center. It would be best for people to carpool as our driveway will accommodate maybe 4 cars at most, and mine will be one of them! There isn't a lot of roadside parking right now because of all the snow. My neighbors (Shonna's in-laws) would perhaps let a couple people park in their driveway. They are very nice people. When I said cook on my woodstove, I really meant keep things warm on the woodstove and cook on the gas stove. We would work it out. The house is small and a little cold in places (like the living room -- bring a sweater). We also have no running water in the kitchen but the hot water in the shower and both taps in the bathroom sink work! The toilet also works. So, you can take a really hot shower. And use the toilet with confidence. And brush your teeth. It would be a glimpse into how the other half lives. If the other half consists of people who tolerate a fair amount of inconvenience in their homelife. But, hey, we've got boxing dvds to watch!
ReplyDeleteWell that is an awesome offer....2.3 being tomorrow... I love the way you explain your house...I am living without a kitchen sink right now...same deal washing in the bathroom. Life in Maine is so fun. You are wonderful for making the offer and I can do whatever works...what about 2.9?
ReplyDelete2/9 is good, too.
ReplyDeletewell we missed that ...darn it all folks,,,I say we cook next Monday night no matter what.
ReplyDeleteok, I will do my best to be a part of the cooking and sharing. What time, and what is the menu?
ReplyDeleteI don't know where you live, Deb, but lets cook, drink wine, watch "House" and then all not show up for work the next day??? (at you house!)
ReplyDeleteI'm a pain in the butt, but I live 20 miles from the Center already.....but I will be there, wherever it is....with fork and wine glass in hand.
ReplyDeleteVery funny...got fork and wine we are ready...I have been with limited internet making me crazy the last two days...And what is it about House? I just love that man.
ReplyDelete