Today was Dad's birthday and my parent's anniversary. Of course since Dad passed away on December 21st it was really neither. I felt badly for my mother. I am not sure that she really figured out or remembered that today was January 5th.... still I felt badly for her.
She was alone today and I am grateful that my daughter was able to spend a bit of time with her. It is not nice getting older, I feel horrible for my mother most days. I also selfishly think: is that me? How will I act at 82 years old? How will I feel? How will my children feel? I am not really happy with my answers.
Getting older sucks. I would like no more birthdays. Is that possible? Happy Birthday Dad. I hope that you are now celebrating a whole new day. Mom I am with you. I am sorry you are feeling alone. Birthdays...they are not so much fun after forty!
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It’s very hard to adjust to the difference when a parent is gone, we struggle individually and as a unit with the changes, constant reminders surface at the least expected times. Each of us has different ways of dealing with it all! I take comfort in knowing that I shared a wonderful span of time and that my Dad is at rest, but yet I feel frustrated that I think now of things that I left unspoken!
ReplyDeleteChristine
You are correct. Thank you for your words. I knwo you understand all to well exactly where I am right now.
ReplyDeleteGetting older is not for the faint of heart ... but remember, it surely beats the alternative. And from what I know, you should take some solace in the fact that you made a difference in your father's life & quality of care ... & you are making a difference in your mother's life & quality of care. Making a difference is a big deal ... I'm sure if your father had 5 minutes to expreass his thoughts ... he'd spend 30 seconds thanking you ... & 4 minutes & 30 seconds holding you tight.
ReplyDeleteI hope you take some comfort in the memories of moments shared & the difference you've made.
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