So Dad is sick again...but this time it is really sad. He is in pain and I worry they are not fully appreciating the situation. He cannot speak but his lips are swollen perhaps from medications or more likely (as he is doing this) from holding them tightly shut. He refuses to eat --maybe sore throat ... what is sad is that he continues to linger and we cannot reach him to know what he needs. It is such a horrible disease. Sunday I could not wake him and yesterday my sister reported the same, thank goodness she is a nurse and will address some concerns she has about his pain and the medications that they are using and not using.
Off to work, moved offices and that feels like a fresh start. Just wish I could figure how to make the toughest choices when it comes to making the bottom line work. I also wish I could figure out how to motivate people who seem to not be so. It seems at times that for many, even those I would think should be otherwise, they just don't really care or take care maybe is a better word of what we have...it is hard I know to push that extra mile. It is a hard thing to relate to as an over achiever. The cause seems so clear and the work so important yet we struggle...I worry that there is a better way to lead and wonder how that might be.
But at the end of the day I come home to my little apartment away from home and get my progresso soup...it is quiet and I will reflect the days events...read my book and sleep. So goes the world in Oxford County.
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Some days I come home from work and feel so good about all that I accomplished, and other days I can barely function from the stresses of dealing with people who I can't understand why they are there in the first place. The bottom line is difficult, we all think we have some kind of reasonable answer in acheiving that, but it isn't easy. I worry about why do we struggle, and agree that the cause is crystal clear and the work is the most important work that I have ever done...The inablility for some staff to understand their job responsibilities and to NOT be able to complete them each day baffles me. Then the anger that comes when you delegate accountablity, is it immaturiy, laziness, stubborness.......I don't know. I just think it is inexcusable. That is what exhausts me the most. YOU should never doubt your leadership abilities. You are an inspirational leader. It's just that some people don't want to be led...they want to do what they want to do. Isn't that absurd? I think it is.
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