Do you ever find yourself saying..breath...just breath or trying to find a way to escape the reality in your sights. I am so tired of the grind. I am not trying to have a pity party---well maybe a bit. I find the grind each day to be just a tiny bit exhausting. The million things that need to be fixed...the million more that should be fixed and the other million I want to fix because they make me crazy to look at.
I am pretty sure my life could be a reality TV show...seriously you would only have to spend a week here at my house and you would agree. I live with a ridiculous number of people...my husband, my mother (82 and vrey tired!!), my daughter and her two children...my lovely grand daughters 3 and 5, a man (28) with developmental disabilities, and my son who has just returned from many years in Chicago...long story you can fill in the blanks. Here we all are..broken, crazy and well, yes tired.
I am not sure how I got here. I know that it should be much quieter these days but instead we have added so much more. Mostly, it is not the people I am frustrated with but the roof, the wet basement and the many places that require paint. I am tired of my husband telling me that this or that cannot be done, he is likely frustrated with me asking...I find myself looking at my house wondering if this year the tornado season might strike 682 River Road with a bang..or a swoosh or whatever would require a total rebuild. (of course all of us would be at dinner at Ruby's at the time) So with all these thoughts and issues running through my head I am tired. Did I mention that my mother does not like my husband?
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I hear ya Deb! I live with a paranoid husband, who is in the midst of retiring (Lord, help me!) and a multi-diagnosed special needs son who's schizophrenia is taking over his mind, and my lovely sister, Bonny, who is trying to get a job in the jobless economy, and me, still getting adjusted to being the sole supervisor of 18+ staff, not to mention 65% of our income has disappeared since hubby got laid off, BUT, I know everything is going to be okay. Vacation came at just the right time, probably two days before a nervous breakdown. Sounds like life is hard for a lot of good people. And when I read that your mother does not like your husband, I laughed a little (sorry) as it seems to be the icing on your cake, and is really not funny at all. I love you Deb. We have never spent any time together away from work, but I feel like I have known you all my life. Why the hell don't we just escape from it all for a couple of days and have some fun? It's a possibility! Anyways, I'm here if you ever want to talk....388-2300. Get some rest, take care of yourself!!! Just be who you are and don't always over extend yourself because what is in your heart is enough to please God.
ReplyDeletewe sure do need to spend some time...ugh when will we find it?
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