Sunday with Bobby my kids, their family and friends and Mom...a good day. Burgers on the grill and all the appropriate fixings even watermelon. We played basketball, catch (softball) and hung out on our funky little street right in the middle of West LA. Trees line our street, small cute little homes and hardly ever do cars come on our street. It is a unique place considering that one block from us are two busy, busy streets and the City.
Today I try to hang on to the day as Bob flies back to Maine and we all begin our "normal" life. I spent most of the day in bed or sitting on the couch with the exception of two dog walks. It felt like that kind of day after dropping Bob at LAX early in the morning. I felt lonely and sad. I worked hard to be okay with those feelings and just be.
Why is it always hard to savor the good times and not resent the return to normal. Why is that? So why am I not grateful for the life I am able to live? I have freedom...I choose what to do and where to live. I am so blessed. Why does that escape me? It should not. I am honored to live in a place where young men and women sacrifice their freedom, their lives to ensure that I am able to celebrate the 4th with my family. I am able to put a flag on my yard or not. I am able to live in Los Angeles or Maine...all of this is for me to decide. I have family around me and I am able to drop into a moment watching my son play ball with my son in law and then have a catch with Bob. I can pick up a glove and share a catch with Bob and for a few moments there is nothing else that exists: him with his glove (a very short distance away) and me with my glove. He smiles as I throw the ball, like a girl I am afraid. I smile that I am catching his throws, placed I am certain well within my reach. But there we are in the middle of a little street with trees and neighbors and happiness all around us. That scene, that afternoon is what causes my heart to ache today. I feel guilty...I want to savor that memory with gratitude. I want to feel honored that so many have sacrificed so that I could have that moment. Perhaps my awareness of all of this is enough.
Freedom, family and the 4th--- yup that is Life!
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I'm slightly intrigued...How did a gal from Maine end up in LA anyway? Or should I say, how did your family end up in California? I have always been here in this crazy state that is defined as a mythical land of beaty and magic, but I live in a tiny rural town and hardly see the likes of LA. You really must discover the Northern parts...they are incredible!
ReplyDeleteYes I think I need to remove myself from the city more often. I came to be with my grand children and my family all migrated as well. So here I am. Thanks for reading!
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