Mind Tapes...Obsessing...Hope!

I believe that everyone experiences some degree of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), for me it is the tapes that replay in my mind particularly at 3am. That worry tape that has a lot in common with Chicken Little. I had a friend once who told me that when I am worried I bring everything, EVERYTHING into the worry. I do! So I began to think about ways out of my obsessing.

The clock says 1:30am....here I am with my thoughts. A million negative and frightening thoughts: bills, the basement leaks, are the floors rotting, the lawn is a mess, the grandchildren need more attention, my son, my daughter, does my husband feel loved? what will I do about folks at the office who seem "stuck" in drama.

I stop and think about a dear friend Dr. Hamilton. He runs an organization called HOPE. How cool. He always talks about intention and looking for possibilities rather than fear. He talks about our guilty and fearful past. He also has often reminded me that fear is about something that has not happened, it is in the future...how to gain control over this moment and sleep? Stop the tapes, stop the worry. I make a list of the worries and try again to rest. When that fails I read, reading unlike surfing the net or watching tv takes a good deal of focus for me. I try to create the image of my most desired life...what does a perfect day look like. I bring up every moment, the smells, the air, the sunshine...all of it.

Some nights are better than others. Some days I can turn the tape off and others I can manage to only reduce the volume. But when I find a positive image, when I focus on good things in my life and rest in my faith I am able to hit the Mute button. Never easy but certainly better than not sleeping.

This is Dr Hamilton's site. I love this man he shares space at our complex in Maine. When he comes for a visit you are never the same, half an hour with him is a blessing. Good people indeed. http://www.hopehealing.org/Home.asp