Wednesday - Inventory

So yesterday toward the end of the day I found myself in a tizzy...yes a Tizzy! I am not exactly sure at what moment I turned the switch but it was not pretty. I find it interesting how I absorb so much all day long, listen to conversations, complaints, problems and criticism and manage to move along fine until one simple moment. That was yesterday. In a clinical setting I suppose I could be looking for triggers...what are the things that send me over the edge?

A short list:

• someone I love is hurting and despite my best efforts I nave no ability to fix
• being financially insecure most of the time
• someone who has done bad things continues to influence others negatively
• injustice at any level 
• false prophets at any level...those who bolster and pretend (even when they are unaware)
• gossip

Now in full disclosure I am guilty of all of the above at one time or another. Perhaps my acute reactions to some of these are due to my personal distaste for these in myself. I know that daily I let myself down when am unable-unwilling to complete my own 'to do" list and live by my own standards. But alas yesterday I found the tipping point and let anger and frustration consume me. Far easier to do than to be brave and speak my misgivings, forgive others and ultimately myself. 

Today will start with a longer walk, a longer stretch and semi-yoga session and prayer. I want to find the silver lining in the daily activities. I need to believe I am following my path and it is where I am called to be.  Toberman, Horses, Los Angeles, grand babies (7 and 8), caregiver (Mom), parent to adult children and wife to a man on the opposite coast.  Here is to Wednesday!