Hot Flash ...A Passage?

I am tired of hot flashes...it seems that for the past ten years they have been a part of my life, my clothing choices, my make up (which one melts with heat) and my sleeping patterns. I know that somethings make it worse, like wine or any kind of good drink! Coffee, I am guessing the caffeine...I love coffee! I hate the feeling of having my body heat from the core and knowing the sweat is soon to follow. Sitting in a meeting, people on all sides you feel it coming one and nothing will stop the end result. Ah these are the times!

Lately these furnace moments have been worse and I am starting for feel a bit pissy. I have gone to war, taken all kinds of herbs, tea drinks and hormones swallowed vitamins fit only for horses with no real success. I heat up and cool down several times a day. I am no wonder woman and feel somewhat defeated. My question today is this: How long? How long will I be in this phase? Seems like since forty years of life this has been a part of my existence....When might I wear a light blue or pink blouse again and not have to wear a sweater? Might I drink a few glasses of wine and sleep through the night? And while I am at it....just curious will phase two of this passage be that my bladder will wake me several more times a night or fail when I have a bad cough? Oh Joy ladies we are so blessed.

Would I be a man if it were available to me? I am still pretty much positive that I would rather be a woman, at least I think so.

Working out III ...Keep us going

Okay so this is the third thread of working out...But now I need to have more accountability. As I take on caring for the grandchildren I find my days are so full of "things to do" that working out becomes less and less part of my routines. In a few weeks I will have a full time Nanny so that will be helpful. But still I want to keep working out. Today was a total bust...nothing at all. So ladies keep me honest.

Priscilla I am shocked at your success...You ROCK. With the weather improving it seems like a really good time to be working out, just the work around the yard is great. I am not letting go and intend to get back on track. This has been very helpful to me and certainly look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks for input and support. Now tell me why I want to get moving!

Balancing Work and Self...

It has always been my greatest struggle to balance work and my own personal needs. Even beyond the "job" there is the at home work, the civic obligations and all those take over the whole of me. There are times when I am very good about finding a space, going to the gym, having my nails done, just reading a book for an hour, spending time with my faith and I feel happy. But then there are the days when it slips away and at 7 or 8pm you are amazed that I am finally are sitting down.

When I really look at one of those days I often find that I could have taken a half hour for me or even an hour. So why don't I? How can I be better about remembering that all I do starts with me and when I have no energy or strength it will never be the best I have. I want to try and remember to take time each day for me. What do you do to take that time?

Rain makes a Blah day worse!

Do you ever have the days when nothing goes wrong but nothing goes really right. Just feel sort of blah? When simple work issues feel too big to unravel and you just don't have the energy. Then it seems that you hear people talking but really not listening? And then it rains. I think the rain makes it hard to pull out of the blahs.

Came home had some lousy dinner...nothing came out right and nothing was good. Cooking for one has its benefits not so much to waste. Had some Sleepy Time tea, did not make me sleepy. No Tylenol pm in the house...worked out a bit, did not feel great but better than not. Spent time on the computer puttering around...Bored. I guess maybe it is time to just go upstairs and read. Rain sure does make a blah day blah. What do you do when you feel blah and bored with yourself and it rains?

I have a FRIEND....

So it is everywhere right now. I have a dear friend, Frank. He would kill me for telling you this about him but I will take the risk. Frank's dad is dying, the days are surely short right now.

Frank works in a very high level Human Resource position in a large company, he is a Board President for a local nonprofit and generally one of the busiest people I know.

Frank drives from the seacoast of NH every Friday to Northern Vermont (I believe it is a four hour drive) to care for his father all weekend...he returns Sunday night. The rest of the week Frank schedules, does payroll and manages a staff of care givers. This we all know is no easy thing!

But there is more...Frank introduced me to Hillary via the web some years ago, he regularly is in touch with her, visits and cares for her and her family. The truth is he has children and families all over the country that he helps and supports in a variety of ways. Once he owned a horse somewhere that he bought for a special young girl he knew.

Frank is a Marine, a Vietnam vet with in country action (of course he left the corps years ago but as you may not know --once a Marine always---and well they are a unique breed...I can say this my daughter graduated Marine corps officer candidate school some years back).

Frank is a straight shooter, pretends to be a hard ass and well actually he is. But there is this side of him that is like an angel moving around the world touching and caring for people in unique and wonderful ways. I wanted to share Frank's story because I can only imagine how this stoic, self contained man will deal with his father's death. While they struggled--who does not when caring for their parent? I am amazed at this man, he is a rare breed. How lucky we are to have people like Frank out there who quietly (this is why he would kill me for saying all this) care for those around them. Seems like in these days we all need a little more Frank in and around us. Here is to him and a big HUG for his pain right now. Do you know a Frank? Maybe you secretly are.