MONDAY

So here we are Monday morning. A birthday should never be on a Monday, particularly one that is already depressing. This Monday has a few sad notes...it is Monday, I am older, I am blue. I have decided to make a few substantial changes to my small world. Taking better care of my darn expensive teeth, more exercise, more time with my horse, relaxing with tea in the evenings, reading and being grateful more often.

It is so amazing to me how often I feel fear and shame about my life. I am not talking the big stuff but the daily little "notes to self" that make me crazy. Things such as: you did not call the doctor for a follow appointment...Again, follow up with the IRS...Again, I need to call Mom's doctor and her home care agency (been on the list for weeks), how come I cannot keep my car insurance and registration straight?, and create a damn birthday calendar so that you will not forget the special days of your friends! It is a continual loop of self doubt and I know better.

I think this year I will work even harder to recognize the dogs barking and keep them at bay. I figure at this point in life I am not going to pick up the traits of an organized, detailed person perhaps I should embrace the person I am and get over it. I am thinking that should be enough. Yup it makes me smile so let's go with it. Cheers to another blessed and crazy year.